To Choose To Not Choose: EdwardXBellaXJacob
by MSU82
Summary: Bella is tired of Edward Cullen and Jacob Black trying to make her choose between to halves of herself. Despite the pain it causes her, she choose to leave. She was now in Jacksonville. But, has she really left the supernatural behind? Or did it follow? HIATUS
1. Preface

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight at all, Stephanie Meyer does. I just own the idea for this fanfiction. **

**And, speaking of this marvelous little fiction, please read an review after each chapter is post. Please and thanks in advance. Hope you enjoy!**

**~animechick1998  
><strong>

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><p>I never thought that something all fathers say I'd actually agree with. That saying being 'All boys are monsters. Period.' The reason I agree with this saying you may ask? Well, let's just say I have prof of it in more ways then one. One way being that my 'boyfriend' is a vampire, and my 'best friend' is a shape-shifting wolf. And now, as I fly to Jacksonville, Florida, were I don't plan to leave to ever go back to Forks, Washington, I suppose I should add an 'ex' to the front of the titles that formerly used to belonged Edward Cullen and Jacob Black. The monsters. Not monsters for what they are, but for what they tried to do. They trying to make me choose.<p> 


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight at all, Stephanie Meyer does. I just own the idea for this fanfiction. **

**And, speaking of this marvelous little fiction, please read an review after each chapter is post. Please and thanks in advance. Hope you enjoy!**

**~animechick1998**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1; Bella's P.O.V.:<strong>

Jacob pulled up to my house while driving my truck, himself getting out as I soon followed. Cradling my hand against my chest. I know it's bound to be broken. _Stupid wolf. _I thought to myself, starting to trod up the path with Jake leading the way into my home. But then, before I even reached the door, I blinked when it seemed that in less then a blink of an eye, Edward had pulled up in his Volvo and was there. Himself and Jake glaring daggers at one another. "Don't you ever touch her again!" Edward exclaimed in a voice that was as loud as a human shouting. I beginning to rush over when I saw the anger and blood-lust for a good fight in both their eyes. "What if she wants me to, huh!" Jake asked just as loudly, the two getting even more in one-another faces. "If you're smart, you'll wait for her to say the words if she ever does." Edward growled back. "Stop! Don't do this!" I exclaimed, trying to plead with them and also figure out way to try and push them apart without using my bad hand. And, just then, my dad was out the front and by my side. Obviously having heard the shouting. "Whoa now, boys. What's going on here?" Charlie asked, moving in front of me and putting his hands between the two supernatural males. They, surprisingly, not angry enough to not be able to keep up their human charades, moved back form one another as Charlie pushed on their chests to get them to move.

"...I kissed Bella." Jake said slowly after a moment, Charlie's eyebrows raising high on that one. "Without her permission." Edward almost growled in a whisper, both of the boys glaring at each other again before Jacob looked back at Charlie. "And then she broke her hand when she punched my face." He finished, and it looked as if Charlie might have laughed at that if Edward and Jacob didn't look about ready to kill one another like I knew they were. My dad was just about to say something, but then his cell phone rang. "Just a second." He stated, opening the phone and turning away as he began to speak to whoever was on the line. He talked for less then a minute, but that minute was enough for Edward and Jacob to look at me. Each wearing an expression that read, 'See what happens? Why can't you just choose?'. How I knew it was that look? I've gotten it a million times. And, each time I saw that look, it hurt me. Hurt my mind, heart, and soul. And then, Charlie was turned back to us with full attention. "Okay, I guess you boys should each go home. I've gotta take Bella to the ER to get her wrist checked out." He stated, scratching at his cheek while doing so. "Don't worry I can easily take her~" Edward and Jacob both started to say simultaneously, but I cut them off while speaking myself.

"No, I'll go with my dad. You both need to blow off some steam anyways. Good night Edward. Goodnight Jacob." I stated, and then I turned. Heading off to were my father's police cruiser was parked int he driveway. Leaving the two boys I had just bid a goodnight to starring after me before going off to their cars and driving off to their respective homes as Charlie moved over and got inside the drivers seat. I then getting in the passenger side one he had unlocked the door for me.

~Later on that evening, 7:55p.m.~

"Dad, I think I'm gonna call Edward and Jacob." I stated, heading to the kitchen as I did so. I knew what I wanted to do, but I haven't made a choice. Not yet. "Okay Bella." Charlie stated, heading off to the living room to catch the rest of the football game that was on TV. I smiled softly at that, reaching for the phone and dialing a number to call Jacob's home-phone first. "Hello?" Billy's voice questioned once the phone on the other end had picked up, myself mentally sighing in relief that it wasn't actually who I said I was going to call. "Hey Billy, it's Bella. Where's Jake?" I asked, trying to sound normal. "Oh, he's out at Embry's. Decided to spend the night there. You want me to let him know you called?" Billy answered simply to my question, adding his own question after that answer.

"Yeah, I would appreciate it. And actually... Could you just give him a message for me?" I asked, receiving a 'yes' from my father's closest friend on the other end of the line. "Let Jacob know that I'm spending the next two days in complete solitude and that I don't want to see him at all this weekend." I stated simply into the phone, that being my message for the shape-shifting boy. In less then a minute later, Billy had agreed to give Jacob the message, we bid good-byes, and then we each hung up the phone. I waited until I heard the dial-tone on the phone again, and once I did I dialed the next number I planned on calling. "Hey Bella, I saw you'd be calling." Alice said chirpily once she picked up her cell on the other end, myself resisting the urge to laugh a little at that. She was always so bubbly. "Hey Alice, first off, are you alone? And secondly, where is Edward at?" I asked her, shifting my weight on my feet. "Yes I am, saw myself by the school for the conversation once I saw you'd be calling, so I'm sitting at one of the benches in the courtyard. And Edward is up in Canada for the weekend with Emmet and Jasper to help himself blow off steam. Trusted when I said I'd watch after you so he won't be back until school-time on Monday." The pixie-ish girl replied simply to my questions.

_At least there isn't a chance of him hearing Alice's thoughts and seeing her vision once I really decide. What I'm deciding right now~ _I started to think, but I was cut off by a gasp one the other end of the phone line. "Oh Bella, please don't do this! You can't!" Alice's voice rang through my ear,s myself being able to hear the pleading and partial heart-break in it. I sighed deeply, feeling guilty already from what I've decided. "It's the only way Alice, I can't take it anymore. I need time." I replied to her, trying to reasons with the pixie-of-a-vampire-girl on the other end. "But please, I beg you, don't let Edward find out." I added, the pleading tone now in my own voice. There was a pause, and then about thirty seconds later I heard a very soft sigh come through the phone.

"Okay, I promise I will not tell. But I am coming over at 7 a.m tomorrow morning to help you with everything." Alice answered, and I smiled a little at that. Thank God she was so understanding. "Thank you Alice, I really appreciate it. I can't promise I won't give you hell for trying to wake me up that early though." I told her, and that earned a laugh on her end. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Bye." I stated, and then once she said goodbye to me also I hung up the phone back on it's base handing up on the wall. I turned around to the entrance of the kitchen, rubbing my sprinted wrist a bit. Feeling glad it was only a bad sprain. But, I paused. Blinking when I saw my father standing int he doorway of the kitchen and looking at me. "I was trying to ease-drop or anything, but what isn't Alice supposed to tell Edward?" Charlie asked of me, raising an eyebrow in curiosity and slight concern. Probably absentmindedly wondering if he needed to go grab his shotgun and chase down a teenage boy.

I looked down at the ground once hearing his question, biting my lip in nervousness as I did so. _Is it odd that I feel more nervous about telling him this then anything else I've ever done before? _I thought to myself, finding that oddly ironic. I've self-sacrificed myself twice at the risk of dying, have been bitten, almost had blood drained, almost had my blood drained again, am currently being hunted, and telling my father what I'm about to say is the thing I'm most worried about? I know there has to be something wrong with my brain now. _I can do this._ I thought, closing my eyes and taking a long, deep, and not-as-relaxing-as-thought-would-be breath, before then looking up and at Charlie. Saying the words I hope he wouldn't be to emotionally angered or hurt by.

"Dad. I'm leaving Forks."

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><p><strong>Well, how'd yo like? I personally LOVE it but... That may just be myself being biased. :P Anyways, like I said at the top of the page, please read and review. The sooner I get a couple of reviews, teh sooner I post the next chapter! Adios muchachos and muchachas! XD<strong>

**~animechick1998**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight at all, Stephanie Meyer does. I just own the idea for this fanfiction. **

**And, speaking of this marvelous little fiction, please read an review after each chapter is post. Please and thanks in advance. Hope you enjoy!**

**~animechick1998**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2; Bella's P.O.V.:<strong>

"Bella!" I heard the joyful voice of my mother call out my name as I exited the front of the airport and walked out onto the drop-off, and pick-up sidewalk outside. She was parked a few cars away from where I was but in less than a second she was by my side and hugging me like made. And, in return, I did the same. "It's nice to see you too, mom." I announced to her in a normal voice with a smile. We continued our hug for about a minute more, and then we broke apart as Phil came over. "Hey Bella, how have you been?" He questioned of mee, a kind smile on his face. "I've been as good as anyone can be." I replied back, making a smile go to my own face. I know Phil wouldn't notice my forced smile or that my tone seemed depressed, he hasn't known meal my life, but I know my mom notice. I could tell by the look on her face she secretly gave me.

To be honest, I have to say I already forgot how warm it was in Florida. Sure, I had just been here about a month prior to this current day, but with living in cold, rainy Forks it was easy to forget what real warmth felt like. _At least I forgot whenever I wasn't around Jacob… _I thought to myself, but then quickly shook that thought from my head as I, my mother, and Phil walked over to the car and all got inside of it. The man my mother married, my stepfather, started the vehicle we were all in at the moment, and then he drove off about thirty seconds later. I refuse my thoughts to linger on~! ...To linger on the unmentionable two. Yes, that is what I now refer my former best friend and former boyfriend at all. Whenever my thoughts did go to either of them, I immediately became more depressed then what I already am just form knowing I decided to likely never see either of them again. And, even though I'm in the hot climate of Florida, I couldn't help but feel so… Just to feel so cold. _A sensation I never felt with either of them despite their different body heats…_ My thoughts reminded me, and I could feel expression instantly as my mind wandered to the place I just swore to not let it wander too.

But, I quickly snapped my thoughts back to the current moment as I heard my mother voice question, "Bella honey, are you okay?" She was looking in the driver's mirror at me, and in return I could see the worry that lay within her eyes.

"Yeah mom, I'm just fine." I responded to her with a forced but as realistic as possible smile, but then I couldn't help but add in my thoughts, _I'm at least as fine as I could ever be after tearing my mind, heart, and soul away from the two halves of my life._

Once we got to the house and entered inside, I saw that the packages that had apparently been sent over-night express to my mother's and Phil's home were now there. (The over-night express be the work of no other then the loving, bubbly Alice.) It's easy to think about Alice, whenever I thought of her my mind didn't automatically go to another certain person. It was easy to think of Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie too. Hell, if was even easy to think of everyone involved on the secret of the wolf pack down on the reservation. And for you to believe it or not, it was even as easy as daylight to think of the father of certain person and not have my thoughts wander-off to that specific person!

And now, back to the current moment of time, the packages that had been 'sent' where four cardboard shipping boxes, each about half my height. All together, the boxes held my bed pillow, bed sheets/blanket, my clothes, my bath utilities, and then whatever Alice had bought for me and put in the fourth box. I gave her that. I figured I might as well give her something since I knew I was upsetting her from my decision.

_~Flash Back To the Past Day, Saturday~_

"_Alice, I really am sorry." I stated as I tapped up the last of three cardboard boxes that help my things, setting the tap gun down after doing so. "Bella, I told you already that you don't need to feel sorry about this. It's your decision, it's your life, and I have no right to get mad at what you decide." She replies back to me, and I can't help but sigh. "Alice, I know you and all vampires are surprisingly perfect at masking true emotions when they really want too, but you don't fool me one bit." I state as I sit down on my bed, patting the spot next to me which Alice took a second later while sighing a gentle huff of air herself._

"_You know, you must really hang out with vampire to much if you can read their emotions through the masking them." Alice stated bluntly, and then she giggled her wind-chimed giggle as I couldn't help but giggle a bit myself. "No, I can only tell that with you. It's just easy to tell what you're really feeling by the level of bubbliness you are." I state simply, the pixie-girl rolling her eyes a little at that. However, the atmosphere turned a bit serious and slightly depressing she embraced me as tightly as possible for her without there being a chance of her harming was sad, I could tell by how rigid she was. "I wish you choose not to leave, but I know you being… You being pulled apart like this hurts…" Alice whispered, and I hugged her back as she did so._

"_I know, and I'm glad you do understand. I just wish it didn't mean leaving you all sad…" I whispered back, and then I suddenly got an idea and I started to pull back from our hug. Alice, noticing this, released her grasp slowly and pulled out of the hug at the same time. "Say Alice... What if I said to you I'll let you pack a fourth box the same size as the others full of anything you want to go out and buy me. Clothes, books, jewelry, etc… What would your response be?" I questioned the pixie-like vampire girl. She blinked a moment, but then she smiled brightly with a squeal. "I would do just that, and then I'd go and buy a bunch of things for you tonight and pack them up before I leave to 'ship' the boxes to Florida." She responded, and I couldn't help but smile at her happiness._

_~Flashback Ended~_

I was lying in bed as I had this flashback, and I can't help but smile as I recall this moment between myself and Alice. Sure, we've had 'bonding moments' before, but this was one of the ones I didn't feel tortured by because it didn't involve me becoming the girl's life-sized Barbie doll. I sighed gently then, rolling over in bed and looking up at the crescent moon shining through my window. I knew that Victoria may still be coming after me, but if she didn't know that I left Forks, at least the Cullens and the wolves will have a better chance of catching her without me being there for them to worry about protecting. Here, even though I knew I may be more than likely safe, I couldn't help but feel so exposed, scared, helpless, and unprotected. And, the reason I felt like this isn't because Vitoria's after me, I never felt like this in Forks.

_The reason for that was because Edward's arms were around me every night and Jacob was always outside watching over me. _ I note din my thoughts, and then sighed again as I closed my eyes. I wasn't going to let myself cry over them, not at all. I love them, dearly, so much. And, I'm honestly wondering how much either of them loves me with trying to get me to choose between them at the time and making me feel guilty. I know they know their making me feel that guilt too. I just wish I didn't have to choose, wish I never met them, and to wish… To wish I didn't exist. That would hurt less than knowing about them, being so close to them, and just leaving them. It might have been easier to choose a different choice then to not choose at all, but at least being away from both of them means I won't have to face the pain of cutting part of myself away. I wouldn't have to face the pain of possibly losing one of them forever.

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><p><strong>So, just like before, i gotta ask... How'd you all like it? :) I hope you all loved it honestly, but if you didn't... *Has an entire army of newborn vampire standing behind me* I can just <em>cope <em>I suppose... x3 lol Anyways, please read and review! Hasta Lavista! XD**

**~animechick1998**


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight at all, Stephanie Meyer does. I just own the idea for this fanfiction. **

**And, speaking of this marvelous little fiction, please read an review after each chapter is post. Please and thanks in advance. Hope you enjoy!**

**~animechick1998**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3; Bella's P.O.V.:<strong>

I was in my room, sitting on the laptop Phil had bought me. Since it was so late in the school year, my mother and stepfather had managed to get me into online schooling to finish out y senior years. And, even though there was already a desktop computer in the living room, they bought me my own laptop so that way I can focus on doing my school in my room. I was however, right now, just simply surfing YouTube, watching lyrical dances people had performed to classical composers' music. Composers like Debussy, Bach, and Beethoven. I have to admit, most of them were pretty talented. Makes me wish I had been born with a better equilibrium balance so that I could do things like that. Heck, I might have even enjoyed ballet when I was younger if I did. I also definitely wouldn't have to worry about killing people who try to play sports with me either. But, alas I was cursed with my father's hand-eye coordination abilities.

"Bella? Can I come in?" My mom called through the door after knocking on it, the sound of that having caused me to jump a bit s it pulled me from my thoughts. "Yeah Mom, of course you can." I called back to her, she then entering into the room a moment later. I then, in response to her entrance, rising an eyebrow at the package in her arms once it came to my view. "Something your dad sent. It got here yesterday, and I completely forgot to give it too you yesterday when it came." She stated the slightest bit meekly, but it wasn't surprising. She forgot about things a lot sometimes. "It's completely fine Mom, thanks." I told her, a small smile going to my face as I took the package from her.

"You know sweetie, you really should come out to dinner with Phil and I. You haven't been out of the house at all these past two weeks besides for sitting out on the back porch for a little sun. But even then, you don't even gain any color from that because you pile on sunblock." Renee stated to me, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes a little. "Mom, you and I both know I hate to attempt to tan. One, because I just get burned. Two, even when my sun burn is gone, I'm barely any darker in skin tone at all." I stated simply, and my mom couldn't help but bob her head back and forth a little in agreement. "And besides, it's your birthday and I spent all day with you while Phil was at work. Go out and enjoy your special day." I added softly, smiling gently as I did so.

My mom bit her lip a moment, and then nodded with a smile. "Well… alright. But I'm only going to enjoy myself as much as I can while I think about you being here, on your own, for the night with no one to talk to and nothing to do." Renee stated, doing a dramatic tone and pose as I couldn't help but actually giggle a bit at that. "We may go to a motel for the night, so we might not be back until about noon tomorrow." She added, standing up and then kissing my forehead before then leaving the room.

I stayed on my computer for the next ten minutes, Phil and Renee having taken their leave before that time was up, and then I switch over to some new books my mom had gotten me. Starting on this one book I have not read before, called Firegirl. Sure, it was recommended for people in middle school, and the writing wasn't that… Adult text ability, but it was a very deep and moving story. I have no denying of that. I finished that in about half an hour, and then sighed. Then, I was filling up the next two hours with mediocre things. Making dinner, washing the dishes after took up the first hour. And, then I just happily let the next half hour be bliss in the warm shower the water never faltering to a cooler temperature then what I had set. I have to admit, it did feel good. Charlie's water heater back in Forks never kept water hot for that long.

I wrapped a towel firmly around myself, it being fluffy and white. I then headed straight into my bedroom since, well, the bathroom was connected to my room and only my room. I have to admit, it did feel kind of nice to have that perk. I went to my dresser, still keeping the towel firmly around myself as I opened my drawer and looked for what I was going to sleep in tonight. I eventually settled on a pair of black, just above the knee stretch shorts and a baggy, white t-shirt before I then headed back over to the bed and sat down on it. I, also, pulling my still wet hair up into a ponytail as I did so.

"Now what…?" I muttered to myself, plopping back onto the bed. I blinked a moment later though, hearing a thump and then looking over the edge of the bed at the box that had hit the floor. "I suppose I can look in that, just hope I didn't break anything…" I muttered softly to myself, taking on the last part as I picked up the box and set it back down on the bed. Then, myself, sat down crisscross in front of it before I opened it. I blinked, seeing a bunch of gift paper in there that appeared to be over some things but all of that was under an envelope. It had Charlie's handwriting on it, but that didn't surprise me.

I opened the envelope after a moment, pulling out the paper inside and unfolding it. Starting to read what was written.

_Bells,_

_How are you? I hope you're doing great. I know I get calls from you every day with you telling me you are, but… Well, you know…. Anyways, I sent this package because EI didn't know what I around, and I didn't know if you wanted them thrown away, so I asked Alice what should be done with them. And, honestly, she told me to send them to you._

_Anyways, take care of yourself Bella. I love you._

_From Dad._

I smiled gently at the 'I love you' part almost at the complete end of Charlie's letter, being unable to resist that emotional urge response. It is hard, for either of us, to express our emotions out loud. Neither of us is really much for words. And…And reading that just make same feel so giddy. But…I couldn't help but honestly be a little confused. What could he have possibly sent? I hadn't left anything packable back in Forks. But…He did also write that Alice said he should send them to I~! No. She wouldn't do that to me… Would she?

I moved the paper out of the way quickly, and then froze before I slowly reached my hands into the box. Taking out the dream-catcher there carefully with one hand, and then the CD enclosed inside its clear case in my other hand. The CD was the one Edward had given me on my birthday last year. It withholds the only copy of the lullaby he composed for me on the piano. And then the dream-catcher you can tell had been at least hand-made by someone? Jacob gave me that to get rid of my bad dreams…. And, it actually, honest to God, worked a lot of the time.

Eyes tightly closed once I felt the stinging of tears, the items within my hands were placed hastily back into the box by myself before the cardboard container was then shoved quickly under my bed along with the letter an envelope my father had sent. I was trying to will, absolutely doing my best to force, the thoughts of Edward and Jacob from my mind. But, they…. They wouldn't leave me be. Every moment, ever touch, ever emotion, every feel, every sent, every feature of/with each of them, they… They just won't stop flooding into my mind anymore. It's like a dam had been made to hold that all back, but due to so much pressure, so much build up created from behind that said dam, it broke. Nothing was holding them back anymore.

I closed my eyes tighter as I felt my tear-ducts over flow despite my eyes already being lightly closed. I sob suddenly leaving my now dry and crackled-feeling throat. Anybody was shuddering from the sobs I was trying to keep silent, even though I was home alone. I covered my face with a hand. Crying into it as I let my sobs gain just that little bit of volume they required so I wouldn't feel completely chocked from my now hitching, tear-filled breaths.

But suddenly, I froze. My lightly shaking body freezing as I suddenly felt a touch to my face as cold and shocking as ice, and then a touch to my shoulder in the same moment as hot and smoldering of fire. I felt the sensation of a tornado build up inside me as I slowly removed my face from my hand and looked forward. I, in that same second, going even more wide-eyed then I already was once seeing the kneeled form of walking ice, and the kneeled form of walking fire, in front of me.

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><p><strong>Now, yet again, I gotta ask... How'd you all like this chapter, hm? :) I hope you all loved it honestly, but if you didn't... *Has an entire army of newborn vampire standing behind me, like before* I suppose I can just <em>cope<em> with thatI suppose... x3 lol Anyways, please read and review! Aloha! (The 'Goode Bye' one :P)  
><strong>

**~animechick1998**


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